What is the number one mistake men make on the first date? If you ask Google you will find a lot of articles that claim to know the answer. Unfortunately, not one of the articles that I could find addresses the biggest mistake that men make during the first date.
I read all kind of funny things. Now that I have done my research, I know that you shouldn’t stare at other women while you are on a date with a girl. I also know that you should decide before the date if you want to take the girl to the cinema or to a restaurant.
Well, I think every man who has at least a few brain cells left knows that staring at other women while you are on any date, first or otherwise, is not a good idea. He can, likewise, figure out that you shouldn’t spend an hour walking in the cold until you finally decide that you are going to take her to the cinema and not to the restaurant.
If I would write another article about those dating mistakes, the only thing I would expect is a lot of eye rolling and even more “duhs.” Even though there are a lot of things that guys should consider on a first date, such as showering and wearing pants, there is one thing that nearly all guys ignore when they meet a woman for the first time.
Some guys ignore it on purpose because they think that it is not important and others ignore it subconsciously because it is not even in their reality to do it. What mistake can be so crucial that it can destroy every chance for a happy relationship with the woman who was full of expectation before she met you?
The Number One Mistake Is…
Not listening.
When I sum up all the conversations I had about this topic with both men and women and when I think back to my own dating train wrecks I can confidently say that not listening to a woman is the biggest mistake that you can make on the first date.
A few years ago I was perfect in the art of not listening to a damn word. I was so busy talking about myself that I sometimes didn’t even remember the name of the girl who invested over an hour to get ready for the date with me. I am not really proud of what I did back then.
Saying that you should start listening to a girl on the first date is easy but how can I back up this thesis? Let’s have a look at all the benefits that listening to the woman who sits next to you brings along.
Is He Even Interested in Me?
Are you really communicating with a woman if you aren’t listening to her? If we are really honest she won’t have the impression that you care about her. She won’t even have the feeling that you are interested in getting to know her.
I know from a lot of guys and from my own past failures that we men always want to impress the girl who sits in front of us. As a result of that we are so preoccupied talking about ourselves that we don’t give her the chance to talk about her life and her experiences.
A guy who tries to impress her will talk about himself all the time, but a guy who is truly impressive will listen to what she has to say. A woman who is on a date with you wants to have the feeling that you want to get to know her and not that you are only there to show her what a great guy you are.
Don’t worry. She already thinks that you are a great guy. Otherwise, she wouldn’t even be on the date with you. Now it is time to give her the chance to show you that she is the right girl for you.
Show Some Respect
Do you think a girl feels respected when she has the feeling that you don’t listen when she shares her wishes, desires and her life with you? No woman will feel respected when she spends, respectively wastes her time with a man who doesn’t give a damn about her life.
The only feeling she will get is that you are just like all the other blokes who merely want to get her in bed, without caring about her personality and her beliefs. If you give a girl this feeling her desire to become your girlfriend will vanish within seconds.
Don’t Ignore the Hints
Zan Perrion, one of the greatest seducers and lovers of women once said that women are complicit in their own seduction. Despite the belief of some men, you can’t seduce a woman if she doesn’t want to be seduced by you.
If your date is attracted to you, she will do everything in her power to help you. Women who are interested in a man will give him plenty of hints that he should act upon. Some of those hints may be non-verbal, although most are verbal.
A man who is aware of those verbal hints will know exactly what he should do and what he should not do after he talked with her for a couple of minutes. By not listening to her you will ignore all those hints and at the end of the date you will look like a drowned rat while you wonder why she doesn’t text you back.
She Might Be the Girl of Your Dreams
By not listening to her you not only motivate her to think twice about whether or not she really wants to be your girlfriend, but you also destroy every chance of finding out if she is the one for you. Isn’t it sad to imagine that the last girl you have been on a date with was the girl of your dreams but you didn’t find it out because you were not listening to a word she said?
The only way to find out if a relationship between you and her would end up in a happy love story or in a complete disaster is by listening to what she says. If you only listen to a fraction of what she says, you will know what kind of person she is, what she likes and what she dislikes and what values she has. All those things are incredibly important in order to find out if she is the girl of your dreams or not.
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